I Put a Movie Theater Over My Bathtub Because Apparently This Is Who I Am Now

Sometimes home improvement means flooring. Sometimes it means paint, shelving, landscaping, or spending three weekends wondering why the previous homeowner put that there.

And sometimes it means buying a tiny soccer-ball-shaped projector and turning the window shade over your bathtub into a movie screen.

Guess which kind of homeowner I am.

I picked up this little MAGCUBIC projector with one very specific plan in mind. There was already a pull-down shade over the window behind my bathtub, and the first time I really looked at it, I thought:

I bet I could project a movie on that.

And, ladies and gentlemen, I absolutely fucking can.

Magcubic 2026 Football-Themed Mini Projector, 4K Support Android 14 HY300F ⚽︎

The projector itself is this adorable little white soccer ball that looks like somebody decapitated a friendly robot and put its head on my bathroom counter. It takes up almost no room, and once I got it pointed toward the shade and started adjusting the picture, I was genuinely surprised by how well the whole thing worked.

The shade was apparently just sitting there all this time waiting to fulfill its true calling.

Welcome to Bath Theater

If there’s still daylight coming through the window, the shade needs to be completely closed so the window is covered and the picture doesn’t get washed out. That’s not much of an issue for me lately because I’ve been working later after my class leaves at 6 while I finish my end-of-day reports for Boss Lady. By the time I’m actually ready to disappear into the bathtub, the sun has generally fucked off anyway.

And in a dark bathroom?

Holy shit.

The picture is much brighter and clearer than I expected from something this small. The giant screen over the tub is completely watchable, and between the bubbles, bath salts, plants, candles and movie playing overhead, my ordinary bathroom suddenly feels like I paid somebody an irresponsible amount of money to design it.

I did not.

I bought a little soccer ball. Less than 50 bucks i paid for it.

Look at bath salt and bubble soak now, bitches and hoes.

The Little Projector That Could

One thing I particularly like is how easy it is to adjust the image. The projector lets you correct the keystone/trapezoid effect that happens when you’re projecting at an angle, so I can straighten the picture and resize it to fit the shade surprisingly well.

That also means I could move it into another room and use it on different walls or surfaces.

I will not be doing that.

Football lives in the bathroom.

He has a job.

And he is apparently very good at it.

I wasn’t expecting some premium home-theater experience from this tiny thing. I just wanted something cute and inexpensive that could throw a decent movie onto the shade while I soaked in the tub.

Instead, it did exactly what I’d pictured in my head when I bought it, which almost never happens when I come up with one of these ideas.

So yes, I’m delighted.

And no, we’re not going to discuss my choice of viewing material in some of these photographs. My wholesome little candlelit spa evening may have included a frankly alarming amount of blood, screaming and subtitles such as “No, no, no. Fuck!”

We all relax differently.

Sometimes It’s Just the Little Things

This obviously isn’t a major renovation. I didn’t build anything. I didn’t tear out tile. Nobody needed a contractor, and there were no emergency trips to the hardware store.

But since buying this house, I’ve realized that some of my favorite improvements have been the tiny ones—the things I do simply because they make a particular corner of the house feel more like mine.

A roll of window film can turn ordinary glass into faux stained glass.

Some abandoned wooden boxes can become a highway for cats.

And apparently a tiny soccer-ball projector and a window shade can turn my bathtub into my own private horror cinema.

That’s home improvement too.

Maybe even my favorite kind.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Bath Theater is open, the bubbles are ready, and tonight’s programming is almost certainly inappropriate.