There are certain things I’m still getting used to about owning a house.
One of them is the strange and wonderful realization that when I look at something and think, I want to change that, I can just… change the fucking thing.
No landlord.
No permission.
No worrying about whether I’ll get my security deposit back.
This is my house.
And apparently my first official home improvement project was turning my perfectly ordinary front entryway into something that looks like it should have cost considerably more money than I was willing to spend.
Because Have You Priced Stained Glass?!
Actual stained glass is gorgeous.
Actual stained glass is also crazy expensive.
But I discovered something while wandering around looking for ideas: decorative window film can look a hell of a lot like stained glass when the light comes through it—and the particular floral pattern I found was approximately $8.99 a roll.
Now that sounded like my kind of home improvement project.
I bought two rolls.
The front door has glass panes, two narrow sidelights, and that huge arched transom window above everything. Rather than just slap sheets of film across the glass and call it good, I decided I wanted the existing framework to remain visible so it would actually look like individual panes of decorative glass.
Which meant cutting.
And measuring.
And more cutting.
And climbing up and down a ladder approximately eight thousand times.
I cut every single little section individually with a tiny razor blade so each piece would fit neatly inside its own pane.
And I would like the official record to reflect:
There was no bloodshed.
Really.
Not even a little.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
And Holy Shit, It Worked
The transformation happened little by little. First the sidelights started filling with flowers. Then the big arched window above the door began changing. Eventually I got to stand back and see the whole thing together.
And I fucking love it.
The flowers are bright without being obnoxious. The original divisions in the windows make the film look surprisingly convincing as decorative glass, especially when daylight comes through it. Some sections even throw little rainbow prisms onto the floor when the sun hits them.
It gives the entire entrance personality that wasn’t there before.
And the best part?
Two rolls.
That’s it.
For roughly eighteen bucks worth of window film, some patience, a tiny razor blade, and an afternoon of me obsessively trimming little floral rectangles, my front entrance looks completely different.
Home Improvement: Cami Edition
There was another victory here that mattered just as much.
This project didn’t wreck my body.
I could work slowly. I could stop when I needed to. There was no hauling lumber, digging holes, moving furniture or attempting some HGTV bullshit that would leave me unable to function the next day.
I got through it with a glass of wine, one baby tramadol and a couple bong hits.
Q.E.D.
Home improvement accomplished.
😂
But underneath all the jokes, something about this genuinely made me happy.
Every day in this house, I feel a little less like the hopeless lifelong renter who has learned not to get too attached to walls, windows, yards or anything else because eventually it will belong to somebody else again.
And I feel a little more like a homeowner.
Not just somebody who bought a house.
Somebody making a home.
I’m choosing what the light looks like when it comes through my front door. I’m putting flowers in the windows because I want flowers in the fucking windows. I’m slowly leaving little pieces of myself everywhere I look.
And apparently sometimes becoming a fabulous homeowner doesn’t require contractors, thousands of dollars or a dramatic renovation.
Sometimes it costs about $18 and an afternoon.
I love that.
I really, really love that. ❤️
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