Remember when I thought I had a platy problem?
That’s adorable.
The first batch of fry is now approaching community-tank size, and let me tell you something: these fish are absolutely gorgeous. I knew White Panda and Tuxedo Red had potential, but seeing these little orange panda platys coloring up has been unexpectedly rewarding. Some of them are already showing off beautiful patterns, healthy growth, and enough personality to make me suspicious they’re plotting something.
I’ve spent months joking about running a fish brothel, but at this point I think we’re moving into full-scale agricultural operations.
This morning, for example, I woke up to discover that apparently another one of my fish had spent the night making poor life choices. By 6:45 a.m. I was already standing in front of the tank with a net, scooping newborn fry out of every corner I could find.
Good times.
Nothing says “starting your day right” quite like chasing fish the size of animated commas around an aquarium before you’ve finished your coffee.
The fry tank now contains multiple generations. Some of these kids are practically ready to move out and get jobs, while others still look like tiny eyeballs dragging a tail around behind them. The older fry are thriving, though, and several have already been claimed by fellow fish enthusiasts.
Orders are officially in for Annie, Carrie, Dolores, and Rose the Hat.
Are they all female?
Possibly.
Are they all male?
Also possible.
Will I know for sure before they leave?
Questionable.
Is that my problem?
Absolutely not.
Once a fish reaches community-tank size and leaves the daycare center, the mystery becomes somebody else’s adventure.
The really exciting part is that all of us are about to get an upgrade.
In less than a month, we’ll be moving into our new house. While most normal people are probably thinking about things like furniture placement, paint colors, and mortgage payments, I’m over here planning fish infrastructure.
The new setup will include a much larger dedicated fry tank, a second tank for selective breeding projects, and a large display community tank where breeding privileges will be revoked.
Think of it as fish retirement.
No more accidental population explosions. No more waking up to surprise babies hidden in the floating plants. Just a peaceful community of fish enjoying their golden years without adding twenty-seven new residents every month.
Meanwhile, the breeding tanks will continue producing future generations of orange panda platys for local hobbyists.
Which means I may have accidentally become a fish farmer.
I started this adventure trying to save a few babies from being eaten.
Now I’m coordinating adoptions, maintaining multiple tanks, planning breeding projects, and filling advance orders.
Honestly, if you had told me a year ago that I’d be running a small-scale platy distribution network out of my home, I would have laughed at you.
Yet here we are.
The brothel is expanding.
The daycare is thriving.
The customer list is growing.
And somewhere in the main tank, another pregnant platy is probably looking at me and thinking, “You know what this place needs? More babies.”
God help us all.
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